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4 Tips for Reaching Out to Your Teen

By

Jennifer McGregor

 

Image via Pixabayhttps://pixabay.com/en/friends-together-hugs-back-view-1262152/

https://pixabay.com/en/friends-together-hugs-back-view-1262152/

The teenage years are some of the most complicated for our children. Bodily changes, hormonal swings, and new feelings all make it an important time for your child to have your support. Teens often either donít know how to talk to you or even may not initially want to, so most of the responsibility will fall on you as a parent. Here are a few things to keep in mind when reaching out to your teen.

1. Keep an eye on self-esteem

Self-esteem can be a particularly tricky issue for teens, especially girls. Make sure she always knows youíre proud of her, win or lose, succeed or fail. Negative self-image can cause depression and eating disorders, so talk to her about the pressures she might be feeling to look, eat, or dress a certain way. Pay attention to how she carries herself ó does she walk tall, or does she keep her head down most of the time? Give her a sincere compliment whenever you get the chance, even if itís something you think she knows. A simple, ďYouíve been doing really excellent in school this term, way to go!Ē can make all the difference to a teen who may feel insecure.

2. Donít let arguments escalate out of control

Realistically, there are going to be a few fights between you and your teen; itís the nature of any important relationship to have a disagreement now and then. As the parent, itís crucial that you maintain control of these situations and donít let them exceed your power. Donít display outwardly aggressive behavior like invading personal space or staring her directly in the eye. Be mindful of your body language ó which can sometimes drown out your words ó as well as the words you use and your tone. Stay calm. If the argument appears to be escalating, tell her you should both take some time to step away and gather yourselves. Once youíve both calmed down the conversation will usually be a lot more productive. Keep in mind that sometimes, a teen (or anyone, for that matter) just needs to vent; it doesnít mean your efforts are wasted or that she wonít open up to you later.

3. Find fun ways to connect

Your relationship with your child should extend past suppertime and morning car rides to school. Just because youíre the parent doesnít mean you canít have fun together, so find entertaining ways to bond. Go to a sports event, see a movie, or have dinner together. You can even be workout partners; take a hike through the woods to get some fresh air or go for a stress-relieving swim at the local health club. She needs to know that you donít just check in when things are obviously wrong, but that youíre always there ó good times and bad.

4. Show appreciation

We all want to feel like what we do matters and our hard work is noticed, so donít assume your child knows how proud and grateful you are. Make it a point to take notice of her good habits ó like how she always does the dishes without asking ó and thank her for them. If sheís a star pupil, donít let her good marks go unnoticed simply because youíre used to them. Celebrate a high exam score with her favorite meal or a day trip somewhere special. If you get an attitude when asking for a favor, sincerely thank her for helping you out and taking time out of her day. Remember, just because she doesnít have a job doesnít mean she doesnít have a hectic workload! Recognizing all that she does can build her self confidence and create a stronger, happier bond between you.

Donít let the isolating teenage behavior create a gap between you and your child. Make the extra effort to reach out to her and be present in her life, and soon sheíll find the courage to come to you on her own.
 

 

 

The Key To Taking Care Of Yourself As A Single Parent

by

Jennifer McGregor

 

 

Photo via Pixabay by Unsplash

Being a single parent is one of the hardest jobs anyone can have; by taking on dual roles, you ensure that your child is well taken care of, but you also ensure that your mind, body, and emotional well-being take a toll. Itís important to take care of yourself, too, to keep from getting burnt out; sometimes, when weíre tired or overwhelmed, itís easy to let our emotions get out of control. For this reason, itís imperative to take a break when you feel like youíre having a hard time managing everything, for the emotional and physical safety of your child.

One of the best ways to make sure you are well taken care of is to set aside time every day that is just for you. It doesnít have to be an entire hour, although it could be if you wish. Finding time in your busy schedule to do something for yourself is not always easy, but it can be done. Before you go to bed, look at the upcoming day to see if you can find a few moments to carve out for you. It could be as simple as setting your alarm a little earlier than normal so that you can enjoy a few minutes of peace in the morning before the chaotic routine begins, or you might decide to get in a walk or some yoga.

Never be afraid to ask for help. You may be a single parent, but that doesnít mean you have to go it alone. If your child has grandparents who are willing to help, work out a schedule in which they look after your child for a night or even just a couple hours each week. Chances are that time will be educational and enjoyable for the grandparents and your child, and youíll get some much-needed time alone.

Exercise is definitely important in staying healthy, and not just physically; getting out in the fresh air, or practicing something mindful (such as yoga/meditation) is a wonderful stress-reliever and is recommended for the emotional and mental well-being in people who are recovering from trauma or a substance abuse disorder. You might find that you want to make time for it every day if it makes you feel good.

The stress of being a single parent can sometimes lead to substance abuse, and while thereís certainly nothing wrong with an occasional glass of wine or beer, it can become a problem when you are relying on drugs or alcohol to help you get through the day, to control your emotions, or to get to sleep. Itís important to remember that there are healthier ways to do those things, and that you may be unwittingly putting your child at risk for future issues. Studies have shown that children who come from a single-parent home can have increased risks for many different problems, including substance abuse, risky behavior, and depression. 

Money is always a major factor for single parents, so give yourself some peace of mind and sit down with an accountant to get control of your finances. Donít be afraid to ask questions about budget planning and saving for retirement (many employers offer 401K benefits; ask your HR rep about it to get details), as well as planning for college funds. It can be done, it just takes some organization. You might be able to boost your earning power by taking classes or earning a degree, and in some cases employers might even help you pay for school.

It can be difficult for single parents to see potential areas of improvement or to congratulate themselves on a job well done, and because thereís no partner around to give feedback or support, itís important to seek out friends who have kids. Having a support system not only ensures that you have someone to talk to who understands what youíre going through, but youíll also be able to create a buddy system, wherein you swap kids for play dates and give one another an occasional break.

 

 

Women Need to be Paid Less so They Can Find Husbands

http://www.nationofchange.org/prominent-republican-women-need-be-paid-less-so-they-can-find-husbands-1397662898

 On Sunday, Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) sought to advance the GOPís rebranding effort among female voters by suggesting that Republicans have long ďled the fight for womenís equality.Ē The statement came just days after Republicans voted down the Paycheck Fairness Act and sought to downplay the problem of equal pay for equal work by suggesting that Democrats were using the issue to distract from Obamacare.

Now three days later, a prominent member of the Republican movement further undermined the partyís campaign to appeal to women voters by suggesting that the current pay gap isnít wide enough. In an op-ed published by the Christian Post, Phyllis Schlafly ó the founder of the Eagle Forum ó maintained that increasing the pay gap will help women find suitable husbands:  To Read More, click Here


 

 

 

 

 

 

 The motherhood penalty: Itís not children that slow mothers down

December 8, 2011 by Curt Rice http://curt-rice.com/2011/12/08/the-motherhood-penalty-its-not-children-that-slow-mothers-down/

There are fewer women at the top because they have a different work/life balance than men, it is claimed. Mothersí careers progress slowly because they are mothers ó because they have to spend more time on their children.

Thereís some appeal in this explanation; it seems intuitively correct. Mothers have greater childcare responsibilities than fathers. And while we may hope for a different division of labor some day, we speculate that these work/life realities explain why women who are mothers are on slower career tracks than men.

Itís the realities of daily life behind the statistics that in fact explain the statistics. Correlation becomes causation. But thatís a mistake in how we think. Thereís more to the story.

New evidence on womensí careers is presented in the White Paper on the Position of Women in Science in Spain. A man with children, the report concludes, is four times more likely to become a full professor than is a woman with children.  To read more, click here

Women will never be equal to men as long as men never have to bear a child.  Until men have children, the same as women, equality will never happen. 

Many other countries throughout the world recognize this fact and that these children are the future treasure of the country, they take steps to insure that children are protected and cherished.  They have a NATIONAL DAYCARE SYSTEM that assists in teaching the future generation, preparing them for school and expanding their minds.  These professionals are just that, PROFESSIONALS who have gone to college, have degrees and learn how to encourage the children in their keeping.  This allows the mother to continue her career or seek a new one.  She is not forced into a loveless marriage, nor considered property by her partner or state; but rather as an integral part of society.

In the United States, we try to control, limit the power of being a woman.  Treating her as less than a thinking male.  Limiting her ability to control her own body.  In some States, even to the extent of forcing her to keep the child of her rapist; and raising the child, allowing the rapist to have visiting rights to child.  In some States, she is considered nothing more than a broodmare.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
 

 

 Here is a comprehensive list of 40 quotes uttered by Republicans about rape that women should keep in mind the next time they go into the voting booth in 2014.
When the next election rolls around, let's not forget these 40 egregious rape quotes from the GOP.



1. "Rape is terrible. Rape is awful. Is it made any better by killing an innocent child? Does it solve the problem for the woman that's been raped? We need to protect innocent life. Period."
-Kansas Governor Sam Brownback, declaring that raped women must be additionally forced to carry and give birth to their rapist's baby against their will in front of an all male crowd at the National Catholic Men's Conference, June 2007.
 

To read more, click here


 

 

 
 

 

 
 

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As Americans, we can do better.  We need to strive for excellence and a better way of life for our children!!!!
 

 

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can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever does."
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